Another week in Brazil!

SEGUNDA (Monday):  P-DAY BABY!  That means I got to talk to all the lovely people back home!  Always a good time even if it’s hard to get back into Portuguese after.  Speaking of my Portuguese, here is an update.  Elder Santos Melo just said that in all of our lessons today, I spoke perfectly.  He said my verb conjugations and grammar and vocab was perfect and he can’t remember a thing to fix J , that made me happy.  It’s so easy to get frustrated with myself, but I haven’t even been here a month yet.

            So remember how people have said Brazilians are very warm, loving, close people?  This is true.  And maybe I’m just a cold, blunt American, but sometimes they are TOO close.  Haha, but here’s why I bring this up.   After our last lesson today we were walking back to the house, and I legit felt so sick all the sudden.  SUPER sick.  So I found the nearest storm drain, but nothing happened.  Elder Santos Melo asked if I was ok, and when I explained that I felt way sick, he didn’t come within 10 of me.  Haha, usually we walk and our elbows bump we’re so close.  But once I said I might throw up, he wouldn’t have touched me with a pole.  Not sure why I felt sick.  Maybe it was the “complete” burger I ordered today.

            Not really much to tell about today.  P-day.  I’m undefeated in chess amongst the household, (I’ve only played Santos Melo), but Moroni, a 16 year old kid here, destroyed me.  I need to replay him though because I was off my game when we played. 

TERCA (Thursday):  So today I started doing bicep curls with my bag every other step.  I’d switch arms to keep it even.  And I tried to do it all day.  Let me say, my arms are dead.  I don’t know why I did that to myself.  So, our prime investigator, the 75 year old lady, today told us that she prayed and she knows what we teach is true.  And she wants to be baptized but when she talked to her mom about it (who is 98) her mom said that she doesn’t approve.  And Edi (the 75 year old) doesn’t want to upset her strongly catholic mother, so she said she would wait.  She didn’t say what she was waiting for, but I took the implied meaning that she would wait  for her mother to die.  Haha.  But we talked to her, and she has been talking to her mom about it and we are still trying for the 19^th.   I think it really upset Santos Melo, because secretly I think she is his favorite investigator J I mean,, I was upset too of course, but I think the situation could have been handled better then how he handled it.  Nothing wrong or bad, just….IDK.  Anyways, I bore testimony to her after that I know God loves us and understands our difficulties, and he knows our trials.  Also, I know that baptism is the only way to return back to him.

            Today, with a guy from the ward, we went to the house of a less active, because he needed to sign up for the help program thing that the church does.  When they asked him what he needed he said rice and gas for the stove.  In payment for this, he is receiving the missionary discussions and going to church.  It’s so humbling to see people asking for rice because they can’t afford it.

            Something cool that I learned is that lime tree leaves smell like fruit loops.  The cereal.  That’s cool.  They don’t taste like fruit loops, though.  Which was a let down. I was hoping I could fill a bowl with them, and some milk and feel right at home.  NOT SO.  Also!  Churrosco today, again.  Literally they cooked about 400 chicken hearts and a ton of this sausage that was SO good.  And there was enough for me to eat to my hearts content (Pun intended).  When I can understand these people, I am definitely learning how to make this.

QUARTA (Wednesday):  So….I was senior companion for today, making all the decisions and leading the way.  This is because we did another split, but this time I stayed in our area.  Seriously so hard, because I don’t know anyone’s names.  I know their faces, but it’s hard to attach a name to the face when I can’t even say the names!  So, that was hard.  Elder Barreto, who has one year and 9 month in the mission, was with me.  And he is of NATAL.  J  Sound Familiar?  Anyways, he is way cool, and he knows a little English.  Get this.  He learned English before the mission by watching ‘Friends’ and ‘How I Met Your Mother’.  Haha.  Anyways, it was hard yes, but I kind of liked being the one to initiate the lessons and I could understand the language today better than ever before.  I can talk well enough to get by, but understanding the other person is where I’m lacking.  But it’s getting better daily.:)

            We didn’t have many lessons today, but it was still a good day.  Funny story:  So, on our way to the companion exchange, Elder Santos Melo hands me the cell phone and says I’m in charge of it for the split because I’m in the area.  Portuguese is hard to understand.  It’s even harder when you’re listening through a crappy Nokia.  Anyways, I was a little scared of this phone, but I put it in my pocket.  I was so scared I was going to have to talk to people on it.  I seriously started a prayer that nobody would need to call today.  I’m half way through my prayer and the phone rings.  I started laughing so hard.  It was like a message to me that I was being dumb.  So, I decided to stop being nervous about the day and just go for it, because the Lord always provides a way.  It was a slow day, yes, but I learned a lot from Elder Barreto, which was good.  My goal for the mission is to improve in the language, and improve something about what kind of a missionary I am every day.  By the end of my mission, I’ll be better at the language than the natives and I’ll be an amazing missionary.

            Today is my 3 week mark no campo (in the field), which is insane.  I almost wish that it would go slower, but I would learn faster.  I have so much to learn besides Portuguese.  The other missionaries know the scriptures so well.  I’m not comparing myself to them, just using them as motivation to better myself.  Sometimes I think to myself, this would be so much easier if I was in an English-speaking mission, but I don’t think that’s actually true.  Every mission has its difficulties and once I’m fluent in Portuguese I’ll see these arise.  If that makes sense…. It doesn’t really matter if it does J this is my journal that I’m sharing with you.

QUINTA (fifth):  AHHH!  Awesome lesson today with Daiara. J  She’s an investigator we’ve had for sometime.  Her daughter has a baptism date (a maybe baptism).  Anyways, we went to her house and talked with her and her two daughters.  The best lessons aren’t lessons, they’re discussions.  We started talking about families and we taught about baptisms for the dead and temples.  Daiana said, with tears, that she really wants the baptism for her grandparents done, because she really misses them.  I pulled out a “Minha Familia” pamphlet of my bag.  This morning I saw the only 2 ‘minha familia’ pamphlets that we have and I thought I might as well grab one.  You never know, and I don’t want the other Elders to take it.  And we needed it right then, I have no doubt it was a prompting to grab it.  Bem Legal (Cool).    Anyways, she asked more about how it works and we explained.  Then she told us about how she had received an answer that the church is true!  SO COOL!  It was in a dream.  Then she asked if in the temple we could talk with our ancestors.  I explained that, no, it isn’t like that.  But you can definitely feel closer to them when you are doing their work.  She isn’t married to her husband, so they can’t be baptized.  But they have 2 daughters that can be and they are awesome.  They got excited about it all and started showing us pictures of family and stuff.  Super cool.  The two daughters can get baptized, then we explained how they could do the baptisms for their grandmothers.  Awesome, awesome family.  When you guys come down to pick me up (which other missionaries have done!) you guys will meet them for sure.

            So, Elder Hull cut my hair for me 2 days ago.  I’m 98% sure that I was born with more hair then I have right now.  And tomorrow I’m going to have him cut off more, because he forgot the sides, So helmet head.  Like this:

Ok….not like that.  My drawing skills are about as good as my Portuguese.

 Anyways, I killed another spider on my own.  Smashed that sucker with a towel (not my towel, of course).  So, I guess you could say things are going pretty well.

 OH!  So today another investigator we have told us we are angels.  A member that went with us asked if she (it’s the 75 year old, Edi) believes in angels.  She said ‘yes, these two are here talking to me, right?”  She explained why she thought we were angels.  From what I understood she was praying to God one day and she was asking for help because she needed guidance in her life.  She said she had the thought afterwards that she would have 2 angels teach her what she needed.  Then, a few minutes later Elder Santos Melo and I clapped at her gate.  She is awesome.  She always reads.  She asks awesome questions.  I really like her and not just because she calls Elder Santos Melo and I angels.

SEXTA (sixth):  Well, today was fantastic and here is why.  I finally learned how to love others who bug me.  Serve them!  We always hear “serve your enemy’s and they will become friends” but I never actually tried it.  (Elder Santos Melo was never my enemy, just to clarify!)  Here’s what I did.  Today was weekly planning, where we go through every investigator and discuss their needs and such.  At the end, we do companion inventory, where we discuss each other’s strengths and weaknesses.  When he asked me what he could improve, instead of listing of the stuff I wish he would change, I just said that I don’t have anything major he needs to change.  Which is true.  He’s a great missionary.  He just was raised different then me.  Then, after we were done, I thought of something else.  So I told him, “We have 3-4 times a week where we do language study for me.  From now on, on Saturday’s language study, I want to focus more on you learning English. “  Because he really wants to learn English.  He loved that idea.  Then, while he was laying on his bed cause we had a little bit of time; I washed every dish in the kitchen.  Throughout the day, when we were talking while walking, I would ask him to repeat sentences he said, but in English. Then I would correct him and explain the grammar.  Today, the little things he does, didn’t bother me at all.  J

            So, walking through the rua hoje (street today), we see Moneco, the man with one leg, out in his grass in a lawn chair with a machete, mowing his lawn.  Hahaha.  And he wouldn’t let us help!  It was kind of funny though.  He was just going to town on this front long grass with a machete. 

            I’ll tell you what; the gift of tongues is so real.  I can always understand and participate in conversations during lessons, and I’m getting to where I can understand all the other stuff.  Speaking of understand the language, drunk people are the easiest to understand.  Today we were walking and this guy flagged us down.  I knew instantly that he was drunk.  Bad.  His breath made me eyes water, and he had no sense of personal space, I’ll tell you that.  But I understood everything he said.  And none of it made sense.  “What is your name?”  “Santa Maria”  “Where do you live?”  “Mormon street.”  Haha, entertaining.

So, Thamires read the part of the Book of Mormon we left her to read!  And her and her sister want to be baptized!  AHHH!  Bien Legal!  (So Cool)!  I’m so excited for them. J 

            So, I cut my own hair today to fix my helmet hair.  Now I look normal again and I don’t have big humps on the side of my head that make it look like I could fly.  (Maybe that’s just my head shape.)

            So, quick Portuguese lesson for yall.  ‘nos=we’, ‘nos temos = we have’ but more common here to say, ‘a gente = the people’ for ‘we’ and it’s conjugated differently.  But once you adjust it’s a lot more easy.  ‘a gente tem = the people have’ or ‘we have’.  The translation is a little funny.  Also, ‘nosso = our’  and ‘nosso casa = our house’  or you can say ‘a casa de gente = the house of the people, or our house’  haha, it’s funny.

            So, yesterday we stopped by a youth activity at the church, where they played futbol and Ping-Pong.  (They do this like every other day).  But this time the Bishop played with them, without mercy.  Let me tell ya, these guys are GOOD.  And then Bishop can totally keep up with them.  At one point the Bishop had the ball, and the kid playing goalie was talking smack, so the Bishop just flippen sent the ball flying.  Remember Scott Stearlng?  That was this kid, but the Bishop bounced it off the back of the kid’s head into the goal.  Haha, so funny.  And they are Ping-Pong masters.

            Another thing I’m learning, that I had always known, but never appreciated, is how blessed I was living in the States.  For most of my investigators, what I pay each month for my mission could pay their rent for two houses for a year.  Not a lie, and it’s actually an UNDER exaggeration.  They’re happy, loving, giving people.  We are just so blessed in happy Utah valley.  I have never loved people like I love these people.  Kids of members come running to greet me, and hang on my arms as I curl them. (I’ve moved up from my bag to small children).    Daiana learned I love the chocolate cake she makes.  The last 3 times I’ve gone to her house she’s had some waiting for me.  Thaminedes, the daughter of Daiana who is going to be baptized soon, has her 13^th birthday on the 24, and I promised the family a chocolate cake. J  haha…that should be interesting.

            So, sound systems here.  I have seen some sound systems that would blow Zac away.  Haha and ‘speaker in Portuguese is  “caixa de som” or “box of sound”.  One car, about the sixe of Zac’s old white one, and the ENTIRE trunk was ONE huge sub.  That thing could knock your teeth out. 

SABADO (Saturday):  Well, today was a good day, as are all of my days these days.  I wore my favorite tie to compensate for the fact that I didn’t have any clean socks to wear, so I felt pretty good about myself.  Especially when I killed another spider, with my bare hands!  It was about this big .  (As big as that dot)   It dropped down by my face during a lesson, and I thought to myself, “Elder Mckee, It’s time to become a man” and I clapped that 8 legged spawn of Satan right there.  Isso Ai Amigos (that’s it friends).  Later in the day, we were in Edi’s house and I heard this clicking sound behind me.  I turned and there perched on the wall was a spider about this big  (He drew a dot about the size of the end of your pinkie)…and that’s just the body.  If you can hear a spider, it’s too close and too big.  Luckily, this was before the lesson, and it was just Santos Melo and I in the room, because I flipped.  Want to know my first thought?  “My first time killing a spider for real and it has an angry mother out for my blood.”  Something like that.  Santos Melo laughed, leaned over, and pushed it behind the couch.  If you can touch, and PUSH a spider, it’s too big, and too close.  And pushing it isn’t going to do anything but tick it off!  I already killed it’s kin and now we’re just going to push it where it can sneak up on me!?!  I was on the edge of my seat for that entire lesson.

            So, I thought I was getting good at this whole Brazilian Culture thing.  Nope.  Still American.  I have gotten good at greeting people and kids and stuff, or so I thought.  But the member with us at one lesson said that I need to show more excitement and love when I greet people.  Then Santos Melo agreed.  I ask how, and they said to just act really excited.  In walks Edi, and I go to jump up like they said, and Santos Melo puts a hand on my shoulder.  Him and the member are laughing.  Apparently they just meant with kids.

            I can finally start to take the lead in lessons AND feel comfortable at the same time.  This is great news!  One thing I’ve started doing that really helps is I look at what we want to teach that day while I’m doing personal study, and I pick the lesson I know the least.  Then I read it a few times in PME and the scriptures.  Then, in my black book, I teach the lesson in 5 sentences, write those sentences.  This helps me SO MUCH!  The 5 sentences keep it simple and the info necessary, and it helps me know what I need to cover.  Awesome. 

            So, an idea I had that I think is awesome.  After my first transfer, I’m allowed to start an English class at the church.  I finish my first transfer on the 29.  I want to maybe start a class a few weeks after that if I feel good enough at Portuguese.  And if I don’t feel that way, I probably will anyway.  So, will you send me 2-3 different books for learning English?  I want something to go off for teaching.  I could use the scriptures and ensign to help teach and invite investigators! J

            Two people in the ward today got their mission calls.  Both to places in Brazil, speaking Portuguese.  When Jessica said she was speaking Portuguese I said, “Prepare yourself, Portuguese is hard!”  (She already speaks Portuguese).    So, one lesson today was with a man and his wife.  He is less active and he has such a strong testimony!  I just don’t think he understands how important it is to endure to the end!  Ahhh!  It’s frustrating.  We need to explain HOW we endure to the end.  His wife isn’t a member, but we are going to start teaching them.  And she makes very good bread. 

            Hahah…Elder Pompeu just came running in the room in all black thermals, with a black tie and scarf around his head like a ninja, screaming like a ninja and trying all the karate moves he could think of.  Then fell on my bed laughing. 

            Tomorrow is SUNDAY!  DOMINGO!  DIA DO SENHOR!  Investigators committed to coming.  I hope they all come, but I don’t think we will have them all.  Just a few.  Which is still good.  OH!  So..

            ^^This is why you don’t put off writing when you get tired.  I can’t remember for the life of me what I wanted to write last night.

DOMINGO (SUNDAY):  HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!  Today was such a good day, even though our Churrasco dinner fell through.  We had our churrasco lunch, and let me tell you these people’s backyard cooking puts Tucanos to shame.  Seriously!  This meat was soo good!  And they had so much!  All 3 churrascos I’ve had (This one was the best yet) the people have commented on how much I eat.  The only complaint I have is I think I ate a bunch of pork that wasn’t cooked all the way.  I remembered after that, that can be slightly problematic, so pray for me! J  Also, they taught me how to make nigrinhos (literally ‘little blacks’).  These things are so good and so easy to make.

            We had 3 investigators at church!  That was good, but our family of investigators wasn’t home all day, so that was a bummer.  Church is so great.  I’ve gotten used to being the weird foreigner and everyone kind of expects me to be odd.  So, I roll with it.  I can get away with stuff nobody else can, like calling the men ‘sister’ and saying names wrong.  I ask them their name, they give me a 10 word name, I pick one syllable that I hear that sounds like a good nick name and roll with it.  That’s cool.

      So I kind of have a mental list of stuff I wish I would have done/packed for the mission.  Here it is…

1.     Practiced anointing in Portuguese.  I’ve had to do it 5 times.

2.     Colored pencils

3.     English Hymn book

4.     Books for teaching English

5.     More pictures, of my baptism, temples, my house family, friends

6.     Practiced teaching the lessons

7.     Memorized important scripture references

8.     My other suit to give away

9.     More English Books of Mormon

10. Every type of English money (except a 50 and 100, maybe)

It’s crazy I’m already another week down. I only have 94 weeks left!  I don’t feel like I have enough time.  So I learned today that President Parrella does something kind of cool.  One hour of Skype on Christmas, One hour on mother’s day, and 30 minutes on fathers day!!  Except he only has 9-10 months left as a mission president, and next father’s day we will have a new president. Hopefully he lets us do it, too.

Today’s lesson with Moneco, one legged guy, Muito Bom, (very good), Elder Santos Melo invited him to be baptized on the 19^th.  Moneco got all-nervous, and explained he has already been baptized twice.  Santos Melo right off the bat said they aren’t valid because of the lack of the proper authority. I think that approach was a little harsh, and Moneco seemed slightly taken back.  I told him then, that I believed that God, had prepared him to receive the fullness of the truth right now, and that his other two baptisms were important steps in this preparation because they were moments when he showed his faith and desire to follow the example of Jesus Christ.  I told him that God had decided that now he was ready to receive the fullness of the Gospel, and to be baptized by the proper authority.

One thing I’ve realized/learned and talked about with Elder Hull is the concept of TODAY.  The field is white and ready to harvest.  The people we talk to have been prepared for this message, and we are called to teach them and bring them unto Christ through faith, repentance, baptism, and enduring to the end NOW!  Not in 3 months.  Not in 2 years.  NOW.  I’m not called to plant seeds for others to harvest, although I will do so along the way. These people are children of an almighty, loving Heavenly Father who has provided them with a way back to Him, and THEY HAVE NO IDEA!  I find this unacceptable.  If everybody would please take a number and wait for your lesson, that would be great.

Well, another week down.  It’s hard.  Yes.  But I’ve decided to treat each new day like the miracle it is.  Go into every situation with the predetermined bias that I will love every moment of it.  When you love to work, it stops being work.

Love, Elder McKee

Chicken Hearts

Little Extras...

I got 3 letters from you guys. One from September 2, one from August 19, and one from August 25. Next p-day I will buy stamps for the US and try and send you guys letters too. I'm surprised at how fast they get here!! Thank you for the pictures!! In your letter you asked some questions. Here are the answers.

Where do I email from? Theres a place here that for $2.5 reais we can use computers for one hour. Super cheep. Nice computers. It's great. I get one hour on the computer. This includes the time it takes for me to write President Parrella about the week, and then read the weekly newsletter we get. I have to do those first before opening any emails. It takes me about 20 minutes. This is why I decided to start writing in a book and sending pictures.

My companion is Brazilian. We are very different, but I love the guy. He's a great missionary. He's also district leader, so that's cool. I get my mail faster. 

The family that was supposed to be baptized two days ago fell through, as did every other baptism we have. But we have some more scheduled that have serious potential. These people are awesome. It's hard to stay positive sometimes, but we make do. :) One of them is turning 13 on the 24, and I promised to make her a chocolate cake. I DONT KNOW HOW TO MAKE CAKE! Why I promised it, idk. But I will try, and pretend like it is an American luxury that they aren't used to. ;) How hard can it be? Yesterday the bishop told Elder Santos Melo and me that we are the best missionaries to ever come to the ward. This made me feel good, because I don't even speak Portuguese!!! But I try really hard to. :) I say hi to everyone and try and talk with them all. It's great.

One thing I've started doing is anytime I feel frustrated or angry or whatever for any reason, I chanell it all into 50 pushups. I've done a lot of pushups. 

haha Language is awesome. I'm getting better and better every day. And I sent a lot of pictures, so that's ok. And emotional state varies, that's for sure. Its super easy to get frustrated because I know exactly what I want to say, I just don't know how to say it. So a lot of my ideas go unsaid. Which is fine. I rarely know what's going on because it usually isn't worth the effort it takes for people to explain to me until I understand. I try and talk to people, and they literally just turn and start talking to someone else while I'm talking. They aren't trying to be rude, I just can't talk as fast as them. That's really frustrating. Little attention is paid to what I say, but I say it anyways because the more I try, the faster I'll be able to actually speak what I want to. So, its fine!

Jake's letter to Marte:

Dad: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope it all went good. It sounds like everyone is doing awesome! I love getting the letters in the mail and reading the emails. Thanks for your letter that you wrote on the day I got here. haha It was like you had watched me the whole time and then wrote about it when you described your travel to the mission. The language now is so much better. I don't understand everything, but I can understand enough usually to get what's going on. There are two types of people here I've realized.   The ones that talk slower so I can understand everything. I like those people. And then those that talk faster because they think it's funny when I get confused. I like those people less, but they're still children of God. I'm improving every day. The gift of tongues is so real!! 

Your letter you talked about a job as a CTE teacher. That would be so cool! I can totally see you doing that, and being an awesome teacher. You mentioned how much money there is in it, about 15 a year. I learned this week that for ALL of Brazil, the average income monthly is about 250 US dollars. Where I'm at, Im pretty sure it's lower. It's amazing to see the difference in ´needs´ of Salem, Utah and the neighborhoods here. Your bedroom is about the size of their whole house. I've eaten in houses where the only thing separating me and my food from the person going to the bathroom is an old towell. But, these people are so nice. And they make such good food!!! 

I love ya, Dad. You're an amazing example to me and I realize now more than ever how important all the lessons you taught me in my life are. I can't remember if i've mentioned already, but everyone comments on how hard I can work when we are doing service or something. Thanks for that. I hope your birthday was great! I miss ya, and I'll see ya in a short 96 weeks.

Pictures!

Elder Santos Melo and Jake

 Zone Conference.  Sister Moss from the MTC is in the Brown shirt.

 Service

 

 

 Pamphlets, Books of Mormon, Pass a long cards. 

 Rainy day…Elder Santos Melo in the street.

 Santa Maria Street 

 Jake and a dog

 

 Elder Santos Melo on a bridge

 Looking down.

 

 Jake's friend.

 Does this count as a contact?

 Santa Maria

 From the Baptism/Birthday party

 The table the set up at the baptism/birthday party.  Someone took their restoration video.  ;)

 Elder Santos Melo

 

 

Just like Nephi!

Dear Family, So, I had this idea.  One hour isn’t enough time for me to write all that I want to tell you guys about.  So, I started writing, along with my journal, in a notebook what I thought was cool about that day.  Every Day.  I tried to do one spiritual experience and one that was funny or made me happy.  Then I took a picture of all the pages (There are 15 this week) and I’m sending them to you guys.  I hope it works!  Then I thought, Hey, I’m like Nephi!  I have my large plates.  The ones I write everything that happens.  That’s what I share with you guys.  Then in my actual journal I write the more personal stuff that I don’t want the world to know.  ;)  It’s pretty great and it gives me more time and I don’t feel near as rushed.  Which is super nice! 

SO…Here is his letter this week.  He split it up by days and it’s long, but sooo good and gives us a detailed look at his missionary life. 

Terca:  (Thursday)  Splits!  I went with Elder Pompeu for the day and Elder Santos Melo went with Elder Hull.  Elder Pompeu has 2 months in the mission and speaks very little English, which he would not speak with me.  Which was awesome.  I like struggling through Portuguese because it makes me better.  We got 20 addresses to contact latter, which is good and bad.  Good because it’s a ton of addresses.  The weekly goal was 30.  It’s bad because it means that we aren’t in houses teaching.  One thing I had a love-hate relationship with was the fact that Elder Pompeu would say, before we clapped at the door, “This one is you”.  Then he would clap and I would do the door contact.  Beginning of the day, I struggled hard.  But by the end of the day I felt very comfortable with it, until they talked back.  One time I did a contact.  I said, “I’m Elder McKee.  This is my comp Elder Pompeu.  We are representatives of the church of Jesus Christ, and we have a message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and how it can bless you and your family.  Could we please enter and share this message with you?”  The common reply of “No, come back”.  Then Elder Pompeu, a native Brazilian said almost the same thing I say…almost because when he said it, it made sense.  The person then replied, “Could you come tomorrow?”  haha.  Being American is awesome.  Everyone thinks I’m a Brazilian until they hear me talk.  Then it is pretty obvious. 

Quarta:  (Wednesday) Today in a lesson with a guy we met on the street, legit he pulled out marijuana, the paper stuff they use to roll joints, and with the help of his wife because he is missing half of his right hand he rolled the joint and started smoking, while he was listening to and talking about the restoration of the gospel.  But him and his wife were very religious.  They had two very used bibles on the TV and were very excited when we gave them a Book of Mormon.  I’ve  learned today that sometimes people just need to talk.  One lady, when we started talking to her, just started going off about all of her problems.  Complaints about kids, handicap daughter, work, all sorts of stuff to two missionaries she didn’t even know.  We’re called to serve.  Any form of showing Christ-like love fits that job description.

Saw another spider during lunch at a member’s house.  It was eyeballing me from the wall.  But I was chill about it.  I smashed that thing with a broom.  Also, I’ve lost weight, and I eat lots of tomatoes now.  So good!  I’ll tell you what, nothing in my life felt so good as going to a house, and 4 kids come running out, ranging from 3 to 12, yelling, “Elder, Elder!”  And they start telling me about their day and I ask them about school and they sometime try their English out on me.  We have secret handshakes.  They are honestly so excited to see us every time.  I love it more then anything.    One thing about here is everyone shakes hands when greeting, leaving, talking, and whenever you make eye contact it seems.  The girls usually just stick their hand out and you grab it and let go.  No grip or shake.  The men sometimes don’t let go.  There’s many different ways they do it.  Legit, I shook hands with someone I hadn’t even said anything yet, and he said, “Oh, you’re American.”  Haha.  I’ve learned the ways now.  Also, everyone here is pretty much short.  30 years old men and a head shorter then me.  And it’s getting to where we’re tight enough that they hug me.  When they hug, they like nuzzle their heads into my chest, which is strange.    Another thing worth mentioning is that EVERYONE listens to American music.  English lyrics that they don’t understand.  But I swear they know the music better then I do.  They all always sing along, and they totally know all of the words.  And I think they’ve all just grown so used to having background noise that now they have to have it.  At the Bishops house we were talking to the Bishops wife and she randomly picked up the remote while she was talking and without stopping her talking or breaking eye contact she turned up the TV.  Everyone is like that.  Music, TV, video games.  And, all the video games are in English so they don’t understand the words.   Let me tell you, I’ve taught lessons with some pretty profane backgrounds.  We try to get them to turn it off, but they don’t always do it.  I’ve taught lessons to people smoking, with dogs on my lap, on couches I wouldn’t even consider sitting on normally, twice during a lesson I’ve had mothers start breast feeding right in the middle of a testimony, and once more in Gospel Doctrine class in church.    But I’ve also taught people who were more prepared for this message than I think I’ve ever been.  A 14 year old boy, who looked like Christmas had come early when we gave him a Book of Mormon.  And he was so excited to talk about anything religious we could give him.  People who have straight out said, “I don’t know why there are so many churches, but I don’t think they could all be true.  There’s only one God.”  It’s amazing and humbling to me to actually see people who don’t know where they came from, why they are here, and where they are going.  People who don’t know they have a Heavenly Father who loves them.  Basic things that I’ve known my whole life and have taken for granted. 

Quinta (Fifth):  I knew today was going to be a great day as soon as I put on my newly shined shoes and saw how fresh they looked on my feet.  Legit I was smiling as I walked down the streets, watching my prime shoes walk.  It didn’t last long, though, because they soon became dusty and non-fresh but it set the mood for the day.   Today was a very good day for understanding.  It’s finally starting to begin to almost click. (You may have to read that last line again for it to make sense).  We have 3 people marked for baptism on the 19^th.  (All for the 12^th fell though).  But these three are prime.  Thomirdes, who has 12 years, but looks like she is 15.  Edi who is old.  Granddaughter of Edi, who loves the lessons.  I think they will all be ready for the 19^th.  Funny story about Edi, today we were teaching her the law of chastity and she loved it!  She said “No other religion has this!”  Then we said, after going over the whole no relationships, outside of marriage, we said, “will you live this law of chastity?” and she replied, “Yes, of course.  I already have been for four years.”  SHE IS 75 YEARS OLD!  Hahahaha.  I died on the inside a little bit.   I thought it was hilarious.    So, Elder Hull just came in and told me something very cool.  Remember how I mentioned the 14-year-old boy who looked like Christmas had come early when we gave him the Book of Mormon?  We gave it to him at about 6:30 last night and committed him to read a little bit.  Elder Hull showed me where that boy (Kevin) read to.  He literally did not put the book down until 3:00 am, then picked it right back up when he woke up, and when they stopped by about 24 hours after giving him the book he was in 4^th Nephi!!  AHHHHHH!  They talked for a little bit, and Kevin said it doesn’t all make sense, but this book is incredible.  He said every time he closed it and went to put it down, he would just be dying to pick it up again and read more.  They had a member with them in the lesson, and they told him about the seminary class at the church, and he hurried and got dressed and him and the member left for the class right then.  I’m flipping out.  Amazing how God prepares people.  Another cool story from today was we were knocking at the door of a contact, and she wasn’t home.  And by knocking I mean clapping.  And by clapping I mean making every dog on the block have a barking contest.  Constant dogs.  Anyways, a neighbor came over and told us that she wasn’t’ home.  We asked if we could share the message with him, and he invited us into his house.  We taught and talked with him and his wife.  I literally could not understand a single word that they said, but the old man started crying when I was explaining the plan of salvation and bore testimony that I know we can be with our families forever, and live with God again.  Then he said, “You two are always welcome here.  I want you to know and say hi every time you pass this house.”  I understood when he said that just fine.  So cool.  So I saw the coolest job today.  I’ve actually seen a lot of it, but today I decided to write about it.  This guy drives around randomly through the streets on a motorcycle and with a speaker about the size of my blanket chest in the living room strapped to the back and this speaker plays the same advertisement over and over and over again.  So loud literally you can hear it from a mile away.  The people driving around on the bikes never look too happy, but I always wave at them to try and brighten their day.  Dinner today was a real treat.  6 reais, about 2 US dollars, for a ‘complete’ hotdog.  I ordered the complete from the ghetto hotdog stand our neighbor owns because when she listed off the 50 ingredients they could put on it, I just looked at the first thing written on the menu and read it.  Complete.  All-inclusive.  Nothing left behind.  Let me tell you about this hot dog.  They grill the hotdog, cut in half longs ways.  Then, they put in in a huge bun along with other ingredients, and Panini grills it.  SOOO good!  But they weren’t kidding about the complete.  Tomatoes, rice, corn, lettuce, ketchup, mustard, mayo, beans, and a ton of other stuff I didn’t even know the name of.  Hot dogs and tomatoes.  I welcome them both now and ask for more.  The Lord really does turn our weaknesses into strengths. 

Sexta (Friday):  Well, President and Sister Parrela randomly showed up at our house today and called us and told us to come to the house.  After a very thorough cleaning check, Sister Parrela saw my bed and that I wasn’t using sheets because I just lay on top and wrap up in that soft blanket mom gave me.  She did not approve.  She is a very funny lady, who speaks the fastest Portuguese I’ve heard yet.  She stripped my bed down to the mattress and had me get out my sheets and then she remade my bed, the whole time saying, “Esta e sua coma”  (This is your bed).  Then she went walking around the house, and had me follow with a notebook as she told me stuff we need to buy for the house.  I could hardly keep up.  President Parrela is an awesome guy.  He speaks English to me, but makes me speak Portuguese with him.  He interviewed me and started by asking what I thought of the area and the people.  I got through my first sentence about the area and he stopped me and said, “Did you speak any Portuguese before the mission?”  I replied no and he said, “You have truly been blessed with the gift of tongues, Elder McKee.”  Then we continued talking.  He served in this mission, too.  Though I didn’t know what years Uncle Roy served so he had me write down his name because I guess there is some sort of a conference coming up and he will see him.  He already knew who he was.    Also, We went to a member baptism/birthday.  Haha.  It was interesting.  Trampolines and a ball pit in the big room of the church, (they don’t have a gym, just a big room) and EVERYTHING decked out in ‘Frozen’.  The father of the girl owns a bike shop and is on the city council of Santa Maria.  Big deal.  Very wealthy, especially by the standards here.   Anyways, they had this dessert thing.  I can’t remember the name of it, but it was SOO good.  And an investigator I’m pretty good friends with said that she would teach me how to make it on Monday P-day.  They are like balls of fudge, but so much better.  Entao, (Then) with President and Sister Parrela coming and this big grande fiesta of a baptism we didn’t get much teaching today.  But there were a lot of people at the baptism and we talked to all of them.  We set up a table with pamphlets, Books of Mormon, and pass a long cards that they could take, but one guy took our restoration movie that was set out cause it’s cool and it was our only one.  No big deal though.   Oh!! I totally forgot, but yesterday I think I saw a baby get revived back to life.  Scariest thing in my life.  We were at the house of Sondra and her 10 year old daughter was holding the baby.  We were talking to Sondra about stuff (she is less active) and the 10 year old girl screamed and ran with the baby over to Sondra.  Sondra grabbed the baby and tried to hear it breathe.  But it wasn’t.  She screamed for the mother, because the baby is her granddaughter, and the mom came running out.  Sondra was holding the baby belly down, hitting its back, like the hymlick for babies.  The mom yelled and grabbed the baby and started doing it harder.  Then felt for breathing, then went back to hitting its back.  Elder Santos Melo and I were going over to where they were, to see what we could do, and the 10 year old aunt of this baby was freaking out.  Then I sat back down on the couch and said a prayer, something like, “Dear Heavenly Father, please bless this baby to be ok.  In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.”  Then I started to get back up and the baby coughed and started crying.  This all took about 90 seconds.  Super Scary moment.  

And now for a funny moment.  At the baptism when we were talking to everyone I was chilling with Elder Pompeu and then he said, “Alright, now you pick someone to talk to.”  I was looking around for someone who looked like I would be able to understand them and I made eye contact with a lady and she smiled at me.  So I went over with Elder Pompeu and said, “Hi, I’m Elder Mckee.  This is Elder Pompeu.  Is this your first time to come to this church?”  haha not the best opening line, I know.  She replied, “No, but I think it might be yours.”  Then Elder Pompeu put his arm around me and said, “ She’s been baptized and very active for 16 years.”  Yes, I tried contacting a member.  I don’t know if that counts as a baptism or not. 

Sabado (Saturday):  So I will start off with my funny story for the day.  Lunch at a members house and the other companionship is there with us.  Coconuts come up and they start talking about the price, sizes, and how they like to eat it.  I was very confused and grossed out.  And let me explain why.  I thought they were saying Coco’ when they were actually saying coco.  Coco means coconut and coco’ means poop.  Haha.  When I made this connection I couldn’t stop laughing.  But I kept it quiet so nobody would notice.  I got my laughing under control but then someone would say “I usually pay about 6 reais for my cocos” and I would start laughing again. 

We had a lesson today that was AMAZING.  A man and his wife (they’re actually married!!) who are evangelical.  But we taught them the restoration, and it took an hour and a half.  You aren’t supposed to go that long usually, but they had so many questions and comments.  So good!  And we had a member with us who is their neighbor who bore awesome testimony and when they asked one question that was tricky to answer, he turned right to a scripture and read almost a whole chapter while they followed along and it was perfect.  The investigator is missing all of his left leg and he goes around on crutches.  At the end of the lesson he said, “don’t you guys have church tomorrow?  What time?  I think we want to go.”  YES YES YES!  He asked before we could even bring it up.  SO COOL!  He listened so intently to every word and so did his wife.  They told us that they had been having 2 missionaries from another church teaching them, but that they were going to ask them to stop coming.  So yesterday, before the baptism/birthday party we stopped by Daiana’s house, an investigator whose whole family is just prime.  They were cutting wood for their fireplace with a hand saw.  Just little pieces, but they had a lot to cut.  So Elder Santos Melo and I took off our jackets and took the saw from them.  Elder Santos Melo started cutting, and I was scared for my life a little.  Haha.  So I took the saw from him and went to town, like I do.  Behind me Raphael (the member guy who is really good family friends next door) whistled and said, “McKee isn’t American.  He’s a worker.”  Haha  What is that implying?  I don’t know.  I think it embarrassed Santos Melo a little, because he tried again.  So we timed how long it took to cut all the way through for him, then for me.  Let me establish my section was a good half-inch thicker than his.  He cut his in 7 seconds.  I cut mine in 4 seconds.  That’s right, amigos.  Then I just kept cutting while Santos Melo talked with them until we left. J  It felt good to do something besides talking and walking.

Funny story I remembered today from the MTC.  At the devotional where Elder Nelson of the 12 spoke, an Elder sitting next to Sister Doyle (a sister in my district) asked if he could borrow a piece of paper to take notes.  She gave him one.  Then as President Nelson started talking, he passed the paper back to her and he had written, “Want to trade emails?  Yes or No? “ or something like that.  Sister Doyle wrote back, “Please pay attention to the apostle.”  Haha.  Como Se Diz  (How do you say) “roasted”.  Score for Sister Doyle.  Haha.  I just remembered it today and it was so funny.

I dedicated an investigator to an amazing commitment today.  He’s going to teach me how to make Churrasco!  WOOT!  WOOT!  When I speak better Portuguese though.  Then we scheduled dinner at his house next Domingo (Sunday), and he is going to make us Churrasco.  And guess what else.  Our lunch for next Sunday I also committed to making us Churrasco!  TWO Churrasco in one day!!  Isso Ai Amigos (That’s it Friends).  Also, remember that green earth drink Joci and everyone that goes to Brazil talks about, Chimarrao (pronounced she-ma-how)?  Well, I’m not allowed to drink it.  And seriously everyone is always drinking it.  Sister Parrela is way into health and know a lot and she said it has a lot of caffeine, so none of the missionaries can drink.  Same with caffeinated sodas.  But Guarana is 4 reais for 3 liters!

DOMINGO (Sunday):  Everton, the guy with one leg that we met yesterday, came to church; carrying his Book of Mormon we had given him.  And he loved church!  I was watching him and he was hanging onto every word.  And he went around with a smile the whole three hours on his crutches saying hello and talking to literally EVERYONE.  So awesome.  He is an amazing man.  We stopped by his house later in the evening, and after I explain what we talked about you’ll probably respect him even more.  He told us about his accident with a motorcycle, which was how he lost his leg.  Then he lifted his pant leg and the leg he still has was all deformed and messed up with scars and he showed us all the locations of the plates and pins in that leg.  Then, his left arm, which he has full use of his hand, some with his elbow, but at the shoulder he can’t move his arm at all.  So, the part of the arm from the shoulder to the elbow has no movement at all.  He grabs his left arm with his right, and pulls it to what he wants to grab.  He showed us the police report and everything.  I understood very little of what he said, but it was very serious.  When he got to the hospital he was basically paralyzed, with his jaw messed up and his arms and hands numb and unable to move.  While he was telling the story he kept saying how grateful for the grace of God he was.  How much his faith was strengthened.  Then he stopped, and asked us if we wanted water.  I said, No thanks, but Santos Melo said yes.  So he got up and limped to the kitchen.  He is the most prepared, happy, humblest person I have ever met.  Then we talked some more about baptism.  He’s been baptized twice already in other churches, but he believes that it wasn’t by the right authority, and he needs to be baptized again.  Como se diz (How do you say) ‘Prime Investigator?”  Oh, he is awesome.  When he was explaining how he was saved by God, I started crying.  This man is absolutely amazing.  Then all the sudden he said, “I need to make a call” and he called a woman for a few seconds, hung up, apologized because he needed to take some meds.  Then he showed us some of his meds, and he had a lot.  He took these aspirins that were about the size of a quarter, then apologized again and said we needed to leave.  A blood vein in his head is messed up, and sometimes it doesn’t let enough blood to his brain.  Which is problematic.  I think he just needed to lay down and take some meds for it.  He’s amazing. 

So we stopped by Renan’s house for our last stop today.  He’s a 15 year old member who is less-active with his family.  He is AWESOME!  We got there and they had a lot of family over.  Renan, who is a good friend of ours, let us in and then left to the other room, for about 15 minutes.  When he came back he had made us dinner.  Haha. It’s a dinner I’ve had a few times, they hollow out a roll and put diced hot dogs with some salsa thing, and it is so good.  He kept making them, and I ate like 6 of them.  Then his family finished making their dinner.  And they asked me if I was hungry and wanted any.  When I said “No, thank you."  They must have heard “yes, please, give me a pile of rice, and meat the size of my head, because I am starving,” because that’s what I got.  Then Renan asked if I wanted any coke, which I can’t drink.  When I told him this, he said, “Oh! But you like Guarana right?”  I said, “yes” and then he said to Elder Santos Melo “And you like Saco.”  Then he left the room.  15 minutes later, he came in with a grocery sack.  He had walked to the store to buy us drinks!  I felt so bad, but honestly everyone down here is so giving.  It’s like a whole country of Uncle Jr’s and Aunt Han’s. J  haha.  One of them asked me where I was from, and I replied “Rio de Janeiro” but I said it like an American.  And they all thought that was so funny.  Have you every tried singing the battle hymn of the Republic in Portuguese with the fastest speakers in Brazil?  It’s not easy.  I gave up on trying, and I would just join in on the chorus.  This was during a sort of Naite Familiar (like FHE) with a member family and family of investigators that are very close and we are good friends with.  I was the only one signing during the chorus because they were all laughing so hard.  It’s crazy, I’ve already hit 2 months total on the mission.  I’m 1/3 of the way to being ¼ of the way done with my mission.  (that’s ½ total).  Honestly, I feel like it is going too fast!!  It’s going to be over before I know it and that scares me.  But I’m loving every moment of this mission while I can.

If you’re wondering what I do on p-days after shopping and emails, while everyone else takes a nap or does something similarly productive, I watch the district with Portuguese subtitles, and read em voz alto (in a deep voice) the subtitles while listening to the English to try and help me learn to read fast. Because I need it. haha.

I love you all,

Elder Mckee